"What's My Attitude"
Audio Tape Announcer: Welcome to America’s hottest new game show, "What’s My Attitude?"
Tonight, our distinguished panel of celebrities will try to reveal the secret identities
of our three mystery guests. So, let’s get right down to business and play, "What’s My Attitude?"
Now, welcome the star of our show, the one & only, Jamie Jacobs! (Jamie Jacobs runs onto the
stage where there is a podium for him/her, the three celebrities seated on the left, and three
chairs for the guests on the right.)
JAMIE: Thanks, everyone and welcome to, "What's My Attitude?", the show that matches the raw
skill of our panelists against the REAL attitudes of our guests. It's time to meet our three
celebrity panelists. First, the star of the hit TV show, "Hit by the Bell", please welcome
the most annoying guy on film, "Scratch Monroe". (Jamie leads audience in applause) Next, the
star of the hottest sitcom on TV, "Friendly", please say hello to Cortney Sox. (leads applause)
And finally, five time Olympic gold medalist, Shannon Miller. (leads applause) Now, it's time
to play, "What's My Attitude?" Will Mystery Attitude #1, please come in!
(Mystery Guest #1 (CRITICAL) comes in & sits down) Let's start the questioning with Scratch Monroe!
SCRATCH: (Talks like Screetch from "Saved By The Bell) Mystery Attitude #1. If Mr. Belding, Zack
and Slater put on a big show to save the school from being closed, what would your attitude be about that?
CRITICAL #1: First let me say....I think your show stinks......YOU stink.....and how many times can you
and your dumb friends put on a "BIG SHOW" to save your goofy school? Get real! Get a REAL job!
SCRATCH: Chill out, groovy guy, it's just a show! Jamie, I would like to guess...he has a MEAN attitude.
JAMIE: Well, he certainly is mean, but that's not his mystery attitude. Cortney Sox?
COURTNEY: Yea..mystery guest #1. I star in the #1 hit show on TV. My question is..if you had as much
money as I have....what would you spend it on?
CRITICAL #1: If I were you..I'd spend it all on acting lessons! You are horrible! Your show is
horrible! It's not even funny. And that song....I'm sick of it!
COURTNEY: (crying) This hasn't been my day, my week, my month or even my year.
(Shannon's hand is raised excitedly, to guess who the guest is)
JAMIE: Shannon, would you like to guess what Mystery Guest #1's attitude is?
SHANNON: Yes, I would! Is it......a critical attitude? (acts hopeful)
JAMIE: That's it! Mystery Guest #1 has a critical attitude!
COURTNEY: (Sarcastically & nastily) Oh, little miss Olympian thinks she's SOoooo smart!
SCRATCH: She's not even that good of an athlete...not as good as Slater!
JAMIE: Whoa! It seems like that critical attitude is contageous! Now,
let's welcome Mystery Attitude #2!
(#2 NEGATIVE, comes out) Shannon, would you please start us off by asking #2 your question?
SHANNON: Mystery Guest #2. If I did a triple flip dismount off the balance beam to win
my 6th straight gold medal, how would that make you feel?
NEGATIVE #2: (Speaking with a negative, whiny voice) Who cares?
I'm such a spaz, I can't even walk and chew gum at the same time. I'm no good at anything.
I stink..I'm such a loser! I don't deserve to live.
SHANNON: (very excited) I know this...I know this...uh, uh...he's got a NEGATIVE attitude!
JAMIE: Right again, Shannon! Wow, you really know how to play this game!
(The other panelists act depressed, upset and ticked at Shannon)
NEGATIVE #2: See..I'm so bad I can't even last past one lousy question!
JAMIE: OK, we're almost out of time, so let's bring in our final mystery guest!
(#3 comes in smiling, acts very nice, waving to all, mouthing the words, "Thank you, thank you".)
Scratch, please ask your question.
SCRATCH: OK! Mystery Attitude #3. What do you think of the other mystery guests?
THANKFUL #3: Well, Scratch, first let me say that everyone's been so nice to me since I got here.
I really want to thank the producers. #1 accidentally tripped me on the way in, (#1 giggles) but then he
picked me up...so I was real thankful for that. (#1 now looks embarrassed) #2 never really spoke to me,
but he seems like, deep down, he really has alot to offer! (#2 sits up and finally smiles) I'm just so
thankful for the chance to be on the same show with all of them and you! (Scratch & Courtney are
acting sick to their stomachs)
JAMIE: Well, there you have it! Scratch...what is mystery guest #3's attitude?
SCRATCH: I'm stumped, Jamie! Could it be...she's a big fat liar?
JAMIE: Oh, no....you're WAY off, Scratch! Courtney...your final answer?
COURTNEY: The only thing that comes to mind is....she's a phoney! (Sticks her tongue out at #3)
JAMIE: I'm sorry, Courtney. Not even close! Finally, Shannon Miller....what is your guess?
SHANNON: I know this isn't the popular thing to say, but my answer is....she's got a THANKFUL attitude!
JAMIE: (Excited) That's it! That's it! Shannon has swept tonight's show with three correct answers!
I'd like to thank all our guests and panelists for joining us tonight....and remember...Attitude is Everything,
so make yours a good one. Good night, everyone!
PLAY AUDIO TAPE---CLOSING MUSIC
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